


Bell Bottom Blues

by vernie_klein



Series: Like the Heart Goes [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Dialogue, Dean loves Sammy, Episode: s04e16 On the Head of a Pin, Fourteenth in the Series, Graphic Torture, M/M, Ruby is a bitch, but mostly Alastair, in some parts, it is this episode after all, really there is torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-10 23:07:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4411421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vernie_klein/pseuds/vernie_klein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Part Fourteen in the Series</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Dean gets recruited to obtain some intel. At any cost.</p><p> </p><p>  <i>This is the story of Sam and Dean Winchester. Not the story we've seen played out on our television screens a million times, but the story of what happened to get them to where they are today. The story of two brother's souls, so tightly woven together, that neither can be whole.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Bell Bottom Blues

**Author's Note:**

> Bell Bottom Blues was written by Bobby Whitlock and Eric Clapton and Performed by Derek and the Dominoes.
> 
> There is canon dialogue and all credits go to Ben Edlund

**~0~Bell Bottom Blues, you made me cry~0~**

 

Dean turned toward his brother. He frowned as he pulled the tie from around his neck. “Dude, why did I let you drive?”

“Dunno, Dean. Maybe it has to do with the fact that you’re a little burnt out from Pamela’s funeral? You haven’t slept since she was killed. You have been drinking constantly… Need I go on?” Sam’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel.

“Oh… You have more to say?” Dean huffed. “Really? Well, since we’re all _sharing and caring_ right now, Sam…”

“Don’t be a fucking sarcastic jerk, Dean. I don’t _know_ what your problem is-”

“My problem is that we keep burying good people, Sam! When is it going to end? People get close to us and we get them killed. _Killed_ , Sam! It’s never-ending. I’m tired…”

“Dude, fuck… Just, man… I didn’t think that you of all people would want a pity party. People get killed. It’s a fact of life. We’re Hunters.”

Dean punched the top of Baby’s dash and sobbed. “I can’t-”

“Dean…” Sam pulled over on the side of the road and threw on the blinkers. He turned toward his brother and gave him _Bitch-Face Number 16_ , the one where he just made himself look constipated. He reached up and grabbed the back of Dean’s neck and pulled his brother closer until their foreheads touched. Sam smiled at Dean shyly and took a shaky breath. “Dean… hey. It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. Sorry I was so harsh. I know you liked Pamela. Hell, I did too. But at least we know now that she’s in a better place. Maybe we can see if that Angel of yours will check on her. Make sure she’s in Heaven, okay?”

 

Dean nodded and sighed. He knew what Sam was trying to do. Sam learned his deflection skills from the Master after all. Dean narrowed his eyes at his brother. He really looked at him. Sam was showing the signs of something… He just couldn’t figure out what. His forehead was sweaty, his skin on the edge of sallow. He wasn’t eating as much, even though it was hard to tell since he only ate rabbit food. Dean _knew_ something was going on with Ruby. Speaking of _Ruby_... “Where are we headed?”

“We’re meeting Ruby in Cheyenne.” Sam stated as he pulled away from Dean. Dean whimpered ever-so-slightly at the loss of his brother’s heat. He wanted Sam to stay in his bubble all the time. Dean pursed his lips. “Whatever. I just- I’m tired. So, whatever.”

Sam nodded and turned off the hazards. He merged back onto the highway. “Why don’t you try to nap. I’ll wake you in Wyoming.”

Dean nodded and yawned. He rested his head on the cold window and fell fast asleep.

**~0~Do you wanna see me crawl across the floor to you~0~**

Sam pulled up in front of their room at the non-descript River End Motel. As usual, they got the room furthest from the office that wasn’t booked. Sam shut the Impala off and tapped his brother lightly on the shoulder.

“Dean…” Sam smiled at the loose, content face on his brother. He shook him again, this time a little harder. Dean snorted and rolled slightly away from Sam’s hand. He knew he needed to pull out the _big guns_. Sam leaned close to Dean’s ear. He took a deep breath, breathing in the scent that was all leather and motor oil, old spice and Sam’s cinnamon toothpaste that Dean always stole. He caught a slight whiff of the gun oil Dean used to clean their arsenal each night and sighed. He felt his cock swell slightly in his jeans. Sam knew the last thing he needed was for Dean to wake up to Sam’s erection. He schooled his thoughts to naked old ladies and wrinkly ball sacks. Thankfully, it worked. He breathed lightly into his brother’s ear. “Oh, lover…” Sam started in a sing-song voice. “If you want a piece of this sweet, sweet ass, you’d better wake up now. I’m all hot and bothered.”

Sam smirked as Dean began to stir. “I’m all fingered open and glistening, big brother. I want your big… fat… cock in my ass, baby. I wanna feel you for _days_ , Dean.”

Dean moaned and shifted toward Sam. “Sam…”

Sam watched as Dean bit his lip and whimpered. He really didn’t think this would work.

“Sammy… Baby boy…” Dean pulled at Sam’s neck. He brought him closer to his face. Sam started to panic and pull away. Dean whined and brought his other hand up to frame Sam’s face. Sam knew he couldn’t stop Dean from whatever he was thinking.

Dean pulled Sam forward the last few inches and their mouths met. Sam sighed at Dean’s petal soft lips. He smiled as Dean poked out his tongue to meet Sam’s slightly parted mouth. Sam deepened the kiss, Dean’s tongue exploring the hidden depth that was Sam’s mouth. Sam moaned as Dean’s stiff cock pressed though his jeans on his thigh.

Dean’s eyes snapped open. He pushed Sam away lightly. Sam chased Dean’s mouth as his brother scrambled to put space between the two of them.

“Sam.” Dean panted, frantically, eyes moving all over the Impala. 

“Dean.” Sam held his hands up in surrender. “It’s okay. No harm. No foul. Take a few deep breaths. We’re at the motel. I’ll grab our stuff.”

Sam left his brother in the front seat of the car, wanting to give him space to deal and think. He popped the trunk and grabbed both their duffels and his laptop bag. Sam shouldered the load and eased the trunk down. He didn’t need to startle Dean further. He walked over to Dean’s side and tapped on the window twice with his knuckle. Dean nodded and opened the door. 

Sam watched as Dean took a deep breath and ran his hand through his short spikes. He smiled weakly at Sam. “What room?”

“47. On your left.” Sam smiled at Dean’s back and made his way to the door.

 

**~0~I don’t want to lose this feeling~0~**

 

Dean threw his arms open wide as he walked through the motel door. “Ah… Home crappy Home.”

Sam flipped on the lights and tossed the keys and his messenger bag on the small, rickety table.

“Winchester and Winchester.” Uriel stated from the window. Dean looked around the room and his eyes landed on Castiel, half hidden in the shadows, his eyes sympathetic.

“Come on, really?” Dean scoffed.

“You are needed.” Uriel intoned as he stepped closer to the brothers.

“Needed?” Dean shook his head. “We just got back from _needed_. Fuck you, junkless.”

“Now, _mud monkey_ , you mind your tone with me.” 

“No, you mind your tongue with _us_.” Dean started.

Sam placed a hand on Dean’s forearm. “We just got back from Pamela’s funeral.”

“Pamela… You know, psychic Pamela? You remember her, _Castiel_? You burned her eyes out! Remember that? Good times had by all. And _then_ , she died saving one of _your_ precious Seals. So, _maybe_ , _just_ maybe… you could stop pushing us around like chess pieces for _five fucking minutes_!”

“Dean. We know this is difficult to understand.” Castiel stated from the shadows.

“And we-” Uriel stared Castiel down. “We don’t care. Now, seven Angels have been murdered. All of them from our Garrison. The last one was killed tonight.”

“So, Demons? How are Demons killing Angels? I thought that you guys couldn’t be killed?” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“We don’t know.” Uriel glanced at Castiel. 

Sam looked from Uriel to Castiel. “I’m sorry… but what do you want _us_ to do about it? I mean, a Demon with enough juice to ice Angels has to be out of _our_ league, right?”

“We can handle the Demons, thank you very much.” Uriel stated.

“Once we find out whoever it is.” Castiel added. He turned his eyes toward Dean.

“So, you need our help hunting a Demon?” Dean smiled.

“Not quite. We have Alastair.” Castiel moved closer to Dean.

Dean’s eyes darted around the room as he stiffened. “Great.” Dean’s voice shook with tremors. “He should be able to name your triggerman.”

Sam moved closer to Dean and he felt a reassuring hand on his lower back.

“He will not talk.” Castiel began. “Alastair’s will is very strong. We have arrived at an impasse.”

“Yeah, well...” Dean chuckled uncomfortably. “He’s like a black belt in torture. I mean, you guys are out of your league. He’s the Master.”

“That is why we’ve come to his student. His _star pupil_. You happen to be the most- _qualified_ interrogator we have.”

Dean looked down and scuffed his boot on the floor. He sighed as Sam’s hand ran up and down his back in an attempt to comfort.

“Help us, Dean. You are our _only_ hope.” Castiel stepped forward fully into the light. Dean noticed he looked more uncomfortable than usual with his request.

“No. No way.” Dean threw his hands up shaking as he stepped back, pressing Sam’s right hand further into his lower back. “You can’t ask me to do this, Cas. Not this.”

Uriel shouldered Castiel out of the way and stepped up toe to toe with Dean. “Who said anything about asking?” He placed a finger on Dean’s head and they disappeared, Castiel following.

 

**~0~And if I could chose a place to die~0~**

 

“What’s your _shadow_ up to, Sam?” Ruby stated in greeting as Sam opened the door to her in.

“Angels took him. Something about Alastair.” Sam stated locked the door behind her. 

“They have Alastair. The Angels. At least that’s the word on the street. They won’t get what they want. Alastair is the _King_ of torture- or at least he was til your brother came along. He still hasn’t quite recovered from that shock.”

“Well, they sent Dean to get what they need.” Sam sat on the bed and glanced at Ruby. “It’s been weeks, Ruby... Weeks.”

“And?” Ruby scoffed as she placed her bag at the dinette table.

“You know...” Sam made _Bitch-face Number 43_ , a total look of disgust.

“I’ll give it to you.” Ruby climbed on Sam’s lap and cradled his head in her tiny hands. “Oh, Sammy... I’ll give it to you.”

Ruby sealed her lips around Sam’s as she pulled her knife from her boot. Sam grabbed the knife and deftly sliced open her forearm. He smirked as the blood pooled on the surface of her skin.

“Drink up, Sam.” Ruby thrust her arm at Sam’s face. He threw the knife on the bed and grabbed her arm by the wrist and elbow.

Sam lathed on to her milky white skin, sealing his lips around the thin line of blood. He sucked lightly, the tang of copper and sulfur flooded his mouth. His tongue flicked back and forth over Ruby’s skin as he increased the suction and began to pull in earnest.

“Sam...” Ruby moaned. She stroked his hair through his drinking.

Sam’s eyes rolled back in his skull as the power of the Demon Blood hit his system. The steady thrum of electricity shot through his nerves. He felt anxious but calm. Excited but mellow at the same time. Sam wanted to get up, but he also wanted to veg out and watch a movie.

He struggled slightly as Ruby attempted to pull him away from her skin. He was like a junkie dying for a fix. His hands shook slightly before calming down.

“Sam...” Ruby whimpered, panic laced her voice. He knew he was drinking too much, too fast... But Sam didn’t care. He pushed her down on the bed with one hand, using a small bit of power to hold her down. Sam growled as she whimpered again from the blood loss. He sucked harder, the blood flowing faster into his mouth.

Sam sighed on her skin and licked the cut, attempting to get the last of the blood welled up there. He knew he had pushed her to the limit. It may be a while before Ruby agreed to let him drink again.

Sam pulled away and flopped back on the bed panting “Wow. That was... _good_.” Sam glanced at Ruby through his lidded eyes and saw her scowl.

“Just what do you think you were doing?” Ruby crossed her arms.

Sam scoffed and shook his head. He wanted to ride his high. Even for a minute. “If you can’t handle it, I’ll get blood from someone else.”

Ruby pushed off the bed and stalked over to Sam’s head. “Fuck you.” She spat. “Just who do you think you are? If you even _think_ we’re having sex tonight-”

“No one said _anything_ about sex, Ruby.” Sam rolled away from her. “You can go now.”

“Oh, so you think you can _use_ me? What’s gonna happen if I get busy and don’t show up for a month or so?” Ruby smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll find my fix elsewhere.” Sam smiled and crossed his arms.

“Good luck finding someone to willingly give up their blood.” 

Sam turned over and pushed to sit. His hair flopped in his face and he huffed a heavy breath of air to move it. He grabbed Ruby’s silky cheeks in his giant hands and squeezed lightly, pinkening the skin. “What makes you think I’m gunna ask? You don’t think my brother and I can catch Demons all on our own? Even _with_ you warning everybody? Think about it, Dean and I are the Hunters everyone fears. When Demons hear the name _Winchester_...”

“Fuck you, Sam.” Ruby spat through her face-vise.

“Not a chance in _Hell_ , sweetheart.” Sam released her face. “Now, get out.”

Sam pointed to the door and smiled as Ruby grabbed her bag and took off toward the door. “You’ll be back, Sam Winchester. I can count on _that_.” 

He relaxed after she slammed the door behind her. Now, he just had to worry about Dean. He fished his phone out of his pocket and hit the ‘2’.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end asked.

“Bobby? It’s Sam.”

“I know who it is, ya idjit. Whad’a ya want?”

Sam could hear Bobby flipping through pages in a book through the phone. “I need a location spell. The Angels took Dean-”

“They _what_?” Bobby interrupted.

“They took Dean. Something about interrogating Alastair. Said Dean was his _best pupil_. He can’t do it, Bobby. Not that he doesn’t know how... He _can’t_.” Sam ran a hand through his hair and pulled on the ends as he paced back and forth.

“Calm yourself, boy. Now listen to me. Dean will be fine- No, stop. He will be. I know that brother of yours has changed since he came back from Hell, but he can handle himself I’ll help you find him, but you gotta not rush in there guns a’blazing, you got it?”

Sam stopped in front of the small mirror in their room. He glanced at his reflection. At least he didn’t look strung out anymore. “Sure, Bobby. Just help me find him. I’ll talk to Castiel when I get there. Leave Dean alone.” Sam lied. “What do I need.”

“Just a map and a match. Then it’s just a spell.” Bobby stated. “Ready to write it down?”

Sam laughed. “I have an eidetic memory. Just tell me the spell. I’ll remember it.”

“Whatever you say.” Bobby chuckled. “It’s _EGO sum vultus pro Unum invenire_. Then you state the name of the person you are looking for. Throw the match on the map and it will burn to the location within a few block radius. Better hope he’s not in an abandoned section of town.”

“Thanks, Bobby. We’ll call you later.” Sam hung up the phone and grabbed the room key. He walked to the office and quickly snagged a map of the area off the shelf. Sam took off toward their room before the Manager realised he stole the map.

Sam bolted the door behind him and laid the map in the table. He started the incantation and lit and threw the match at the appropriate time, finishing the spell as the flames began to lick the edges of the paper. When they died down, there was a small piece of map left. Sam snatched the map, loaded holy water and salt into his duffel and took off for Dean.

 

**~0~It would be in your arms~0~**

 

Dean peered in the small, dirty window into the next room. Alastair was chained to a hexacle, a huge- elaborate Devil’s Trap painted on the floor around him.

“Interesting...” Dean trailed off as he turned from the door.

“Where are you going?” Castiel narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brow. 

“Gunna hitch a ride back to Cheyenne.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Where’s the door? I told you, I’m not _dealing_ with this shit anymore.”

Uriel moved to in front of the door, effectively blocking Dean’s way.

“Move, junkless.” Dean crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. 

“Angels are _dying_.” Uriel sneered.

“Everyone’s dying these days. But hey, I get it. You can make me do whatever you want. But sorry, you _can’t_ make me do this.”

Castiel stepped up to Dean and placed his hand on the Hunter’s shoulder. “This is too much to ask. _I_ know. But we have to ask it.”

Dean glanced from Uriel to Castiel and back again. “I wanna talk to Castiel alone, Uriel.”

Uriel turned toward Castiel. “I will go seek Revelation.” Castiel nodded.

“Hey. Bring back some donuts, why don’tcha. I like the custard filled ones. But not the ones with powdered sugar. They make a mess. Make sure you get the ones with the chocolate glaze on top.” Dean crinkled his nose and winked.

Uriel laughed. “He won’t quit, will he? I think I’m starting to _like_ this one.” Uriel vanished.

“Dude. You guys do _not_ walk enough. You’re gunna get all flabby.”

Castiel stood stock still. If Dean hadn’t known he was _alive_ , he would have thought Castiel was a mannequin. Dean chuckled. “You know, I am starting to think that _junkless_ has a better sense of humour than you do.”

“Castiel cocked his head to the right. “Uriel is the funniest Angel in the Garrison. Ask anyone.”

Dean shook his head incredulously. He took in Castiel’s stiffer than normal posture and the fact that the Angel looked anywhere but in Dean’s eyes. “What’s going on, Cas? Since when does Uriel keep you on a leash?”

Castiel cleared his throat and kept his eyes on Dean’s boots. “My superiors- the leaders of our Garrison, have begun to question my _sympathies_.”

Dean curled his fingers around Castiel’s chin and tilted the Angel’s head so their eyes met. “Your what?”

“They believe that I am getting too close to the Humans in my charge. Too close to you. They believe that I am beginning to express emotion. This opens the pathways to doubt. They fear I may fall. Like Anael.”

Dean closed his eyes and dropped his hand. He turned back toward the door that lead to Alastair and bit his bottom lip as he shook his head. “Cas... I’m- That’s-” Dean opened his eyes and stared directly into his Angel’s. “Cas. You tell Uriel I can’t do this. You don’t want me to do this.”

“Want you to? No. Need you to? We _need_ you to.”

“Cas...” Dean sighed as he turned away from his Angel and fully faced the door to the room housing Alastair. “You ask me to open that door and walk through it... _You will not like what walks back out_.”

Castiel stalked up to Dean’s back and leaned over his shoulder. He placed one hand on the middle of Dean’s back and the other over Dean’s heart and whispered, “For what it is worth... I would give _anything_ not to have you do this.”

Dean nodded and walked toward the door.

 

**~0~Do you want to see me crawl across the floor to you?~0~**

 

“ _Heaven… I’m in Heaven. And my heart beats, so that I can hardly speak_.” Alastair sang as he wiggled in his chains- almost as if he was dancing. “ _I seem to find the happiness I seek, when we’re dancing cheek to cheek_.” Alastair continued to hum as Dean wheeled in a cloth covered, squeaky wheeled cart.

Dean pulled the oily cloth off the cart and did his best to ignore the full, belly laugh Alastair was providing to eradicate the silence in the room. Dean surveyed the torture items provided. There was silver- not a big help, holy water- that would sting a bit, salt- better… There were also the tools of Hell torture, straps and hooks that were deadly sharp and _very_ rusty. He ran a finger down the handle of a surgical scalpel that he _knew_ would fit perfectly in his hand. Dean murmured the beginnings of an exorcism under his breath in case he needed it. It was one of those meant for high level Demons. Sam made sure he memorised it after the debacle in Elizabethville. 

Alastair laughed. Dean wanted to punch his fucking face in. The laugh was a high pitched whine. He sounded like he was wheezing and smoked too many cigarettes. “I get that this is a serious, emotional situation… But seriously? They send _you_ to torture _me_?”

“One chance, Alastair.” Dean picked up a silver knife. “Who is killing the Angels?”

“Aw… You think that your scary _toys_ are gonna make me talk?”

“You’ll talk one way or another.” Dean dribbled holy water over the blade and dipped it into a bucket of salt. He walked up to Alastair and smiled. 

Alastair narrowed his eyes and smirked. Dean took the edge of the blade and ran it over Alastair’s cheek. Blood welled up at the site of the cut and the skin steamed slightly. Dean watched Alastair grimace at the slice.

“Answer the question.” Dean ran the razor sharp blade down Alastair’s other cheek.

“Or what? _You’ll_ work me over? You left a part of yourself in the pit. Want to be reunited with it? It _can_ be arranged.” Alastair smiled. “You honestly think that you can do anything to me that I haven’t done to you? You’re weak, Dean. Half the man you were in Hell. They claim you were a _Master_... I don’t see a Master of Torture in you, I see a scared, pathetic little boy.”

Dean punched Alastair in the mouth. He spit blood on the floor and grinned, his teeth bright red. 

“Fuck you.”

Alastair spit blood in Dean’s face, the spatter colouring his eyes and cheeks. 

“Fuck you.” Dean walked over to the cart and grabbed a gallon of holy water. He splashed half on Alastair and jammed the knife in his gut. Dean pulled up and over, carving a large arch in the flesh.

“That the best you can do?” Alastair chuckled.

“Who’s killing the Angels?” Dean grabbed the salt canister and wrenched the Demon’s mouth open.

He poured the crystals down Alastair’s throat, holding his mouth still to the onslaught. Alastair stuttered and sputtered through the torture. “Give me the Demon’s name, Alastair.” Dean poured holy water on the salt and smiled at the smoking flesh.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Dean grabbed a syringe off the cart and filled it with holy water. He grabbed a leather strap and moved back toward the Demon. Dean cinched the strap around Alastair’s arm and jammed the needle deep in a vein. “There’s more where that came from.”

“Go directly to Hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.” Alastair spat through the sizzling of his flesh.

Dean raised an eyebrow and took a swig off the bottle of Jack sitting on the cart. He picked up Ruby’s knife and twirled it around in his fingers.

“Ah… There’s the little _pig poker_. I wondered where it had gone to.” Alastair sneered.

Dean smiled. He knew the knife wouldn’t do much, but it was gratifying to sink the blade deep in Alastair’s thigh. The wound bubbled and steamed a bit and Alastair grimaced momentarily.

“I carved you a new animal, Dean, There is _no_ going back.”

Dean chuckled, pursed his lips and nodded. “Maybe…” He shrugged. “But maybe, I’m just gunna carve you up.”

Dean began to slice sections of flesh from Alastair’s meatsuit. He dropped huge sections of muscle and skin on the floor, the blood pooling under his feet. Alastair didn’t scream. He just bit his tongue and took the torture.

Dean stepped back and grabbed a rag. He turned his back to Alastair momentarily. He felt a slight displacement of air and sucked in a breath. Dean knew somehow, Alastair had gotten out of that Devil’s Trap. He closed his eyes and pursed his lips. 

“You know…” Alastair began. “You were the First Seal.”

“You’re lying.” Dean balled his hands into fists.

“ _And it is written that the First Seal shall be broken when the Righteous Man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break _.” Alastair emphasized the last three words in Dean’s ear.__

__Dean clenched his teeth at the feeling of the Demon’s hot breath on his neck._ _

__“We had to break the First Seal before any others. Only way to get the dominoes to fall, right? Topple the one at the front of the line.”_ _

__Dean turned around to face Alastair._ _

__“We’ll have you to thank when we win, Dean.” Dean narrowed his eyes. “ _As it is written, so shall it pass _.”___ _

____Alastair punched Dean in the throat and grinned as Dean fell to the floor._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**~0~Do you want to hear me beg you to take me back?~0~** _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Sam stormed the warehouse. He ran to the second floor and burst through the door. “Castiel! Where’s my brother?” Sam stalked up to the Angel and grabbed him by the lapels of his trenchcoat, lifting the smaller body off the ground slightly._ _ _ _

____Castiel pointed a shaky finger toward the iron door. Sam dropped the Angel and walked quickly to the door. He raised his hand and the door sprung open. Sam darted in just as Alastair was picking Dean up off the floor._ _ _ _

____Sam grimaced at the sight of the Demon. “Hey Alastair.”_ _ _ _

____Alastair dropped Dean on the floor, his head banging the cart on the way down._ _ _ _

____“Aw… Looky, looky… It’s Azazel’s little _prodigy_ all grown up. Still using your powers, Sammy boy?”_ _ _ _

____“Go to Hell, Alastair.” Sam raised his hand and the Demon flew across the room and stuck to the wall. Sam stalked toward him and twisted his hand. Alastair choked and groaned, his body lighting up from the inside. “Who is killing the Angels?”_ _ _ _

____“You think yo-” Alastair coughed. “you can get rid of me that easy?”_ _ _ _

____Sam turned his hand and Alastair grimaced._ _ _ _

____“It wasn’t us! We’re not behind the attacks!”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t believe you.” Sam spat in Alastair’s face._ _ _ _

____“Oh… Lilith wouldn’t kill seven Angels.” Alastair laughed. “She’d kill a hundred… a thousand.”_ _ _ _

____Sam stopped momentarily._ _ _ _

____“Oh… Go ahead, Sammy.” Alastair laughed again. His shrill voice blanketing the room. “Send me back… if you can.”_ _ _ _

____Sam threw his head back in laughter, his shoulders shaking. He dropped his hands to his stomach and shook his head back and forth. His laughter died down to a chuckle and he looked Alastair square in the eyes. Sam smirked and raised an eyebrow._ _ _ _

____“Oh… I’m stronger than that now. I can kill.” Sam held out his hand and flexed his fingers. Alastair filled with gold light and opened his mouth to scream. Sam twisted his hand and Alastair glowed gold through his skin, brighter than the sun. Sam flinched, blood dripping from his nose as Alastair’s meatsuit collapsed to the floor…._ _ _ _

____...dead._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**~0~I’d gladly do it because, I don’t want to fade away~0~** _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Dean laid in bed, his body beaten- broken. Sam wiped a tear from his eye as he stared- not for the first time at his comatose brother. He leaned heavily on the door jamb and listened to the bustle of the hospital, not caring if the world fell apart around him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath._ _ _ _

____“Son… You can go in.”_ _ _ _

____Sam turned around and took in the friendly voice. The woman was young, but not terribly. Sam figured her to be about the age his mother would have been. She was thin, her red hair in a messy bun on top of her head. Sam knew she was Dean’s ICU Nurse and that she was overworked and stretched thin, the bags under her eyes giving it away._ _ _ _

____“I know… I just…” Sam wiped the tears away._ _ _ _

____She came and put her hand on Sam’s arm. “He’s pretty special to you, huh?”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah he is…” Sam cocked his head._ _ _ _

____“Oh.” The Nurse smiled. “Where are my manners? It’s Jacqueline. You can call me Jack though.”_ _ _ _

____“Jack?” Sam chuckled._ _ _ _

____“Long story… Well, not really. I am the youngest of five kids. All boys but me. So, Jack it is.” Jack smiled and rubbed Sam’s bicep lightly._ _ _ _

____“I can’t take that this is the second time he’s been in a coma.” Sam shuddered lightly._ _ _ _

____“The second time?” Jack’s face morphed into one laced with sympathy. “You poor boy. To have your boyfriend hurt _that_ much…”_ _ _ _

____“Oh. He’s- he’s not my boyfriend.” Sam stammered. “He’s my brother.”_ _ _ _

____Jack dropped Sam’s arm and looked up into his face. “You don’t have to hide from me. I see the way you look at him.”_ _ _ _

____“How- What do you mean, how I look at him?” Sam turned back to Dean and watched the machine breath for his brother._ _ _ _

____“Just like that.” Jack smiled. “Like he hung the moon.”_ _ _ _

____“He did.” Sam whispered and smiled._ _ _ _

____“So go to him. They say that comatose patients can hear the world around them.” Jack pushed him gently into the room. “I’ll be back to check on him in a few hours. Go sit with him. Hold his hand. Tell him you love him. He’ll want to hear it.” Jack turned from the doorway and headed to the Nurse’s Station._ _ _ _

____“Hey… Jack?” Sam turned and waited for the Nurse to look back. “Thanks.”_ _ _ _

____She smiled back and shook her head lightly. Sam took a deep breath and stepped into his brother’s room. He pulled the visitors chair over to the side of the hospital bed and flopped in the uncomfortable, stiff, vinyl chair. Sam took a good look at his brother._ _ _ _

____Aside from the obvious- the breathing tube down his throat, ng tube in his nose, and the IV, Dean looked small in the bed. Worse than he looked after their car accident, the last time Dean had been in a coma. Dean looked like he went six rounds with a UFC Fighter and lost. His face was mottled with purple and black bruises. One eye was completely swollen shut and his lip was split. Alastair had broken the bone around his left eye and Dean’s jaw was wired shut. He had five broken ribs, a collapsed lung and a broken wrist. Surgery to remove his spleen was touch and go the entire time. The Doctors had told Sam that it remained to be seen if Dean would ever come out of his coma. He was lucky Alastair didn’t crush his windpipe too._ _ _ _

____Sam gingerly picked up Dean’s hand from the top of the coverlet and curled their fingers together. He wiped away the stray tears from his face with his free hand and took a deep breath._ _ _ _

____“Dean...’ Sam began, his voice sad and weary. “I’m so sorry. I know you told me not to… But I had to protect you. I had to! I know you’ll never be able to forgive me… But you gotta understand that everything I do, _everything_ , Dean is for you. I just want to be worthy in your eyes.”_ _ _ _

____Sam rested his head on their intertwined fingers. “Just come back to me. Please? I’ll do anything… _Anything_. It’s been weeks, Dean… I love you so much it hurts. Come back to me…”_ _ _ _

____Sam turned his head and kissed each of Dean’s fingers, _I love you_ ’s peppered after each peck. Sam rested his head on the bed momentarily and fell asleep to the sound of his brother’s ventilator._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**~0~Give me one more day please. I don’t want to fade away~0~** _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Sam was reading Dean _The Two Towers_ , when he heard a whoosh of wind and what sounded like feathers._ _ _ _

____“Castiel.” Sam stated wearily without looking up toward the Angel. He marked his place one handed with a hospital menu and set the book on Dean’s bed tray._ _ _ _

____“Sam….” Castiel started._ _ _ _

____“No.” Sam jumped from his chair abruptly, pulling Dean’s fingers from his hand. “You don’t get to come in here after weeks… _weeks_ , man and act all sorry and shit. You fucked up.” Sam poked a finger at Castiel’s chest. “He told you not to make him do this. Look at him!” Sam pointed a finger toward his still comatose brother._ _ _ _

____The bruises had faded over the weeks he spent in bed. The Doctor had done surgery that morning to remove the screws and pins wiring his jaw shut. The lower half of Dean’s face was wrapped in bandages. The heart monitor and ventilator beeped along steadily. His pulse even and slow._ _ _ _

____“He’s been there for 2 and a half months, Castiel. All cause you couldn’t keep a simple Devil’s Trap together. And it almost cost my brother his _life_. They say he’ll probably never wake up. That he has _brain damage_... Does that mean _anything_ to you?”_ _ _ _

____“Sam, for what it is worth-” Castiel cocked his head._ _ _ _

____“No. There is no, _for what it’s worth_ ’s. Not from you- Not ever!” Sam fumed._ _ _ _

____“I cannot- There are factors beyond my control, Sam.”_ _ _ _

____“That’s exactly it, right? I thought God created _Free Will_ for a reason. Are you saying that you are just a puppet? You can’t make your _own_ decisions? I thought you were my brother’s Angel. Doesn’t that mean that you are supposed to be looking out for _him_ first?” Sam paced back and forth across the tiny ICU room. He continuously ran his hands through his hair, pulling on the ends as he huffed around the room._ _ _ _

____“There is-” Castiel cocked his head and stilled. Sam stopped pacing and looked at the Angel. “That is- I cannot… I have to go.”_ _ _ _

____“Castiel!” Sam yelled as the Angel took off, a slight breeze in his wake.”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**~0~In your heart I want to stay~0~** _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Dean’s head was full of cotton. The world around him hazy shades of blue and grey. He tried to breathe, but found his lungs were made of taffy and not meant to take in the air around him. Dean tried to open his eyes further, but it felt as if sticky gum had glued them shut. He wiggled his fingers and decided that his hands must been amputated since he couldn’t feel anything below his neck. Dean was shocked that panic hadn’t set in yet, but didn’t Sammy say that when you’re drowning the world gets very peaceful before you die._ _ _ _

____Maybe that’s why he felt calm and tranquil… He was drowning. He didn’t remember being near any water, but maybe a pipe burst and flooded the room he had been in, Or, maybe he slipped in the shower and drowned in the bathtub._ _ _ _

____Dean decided that there was no point in wondering what had happened and decided instead to go through his list of regrets. He knew if God and the Angels gave him a second chance, he would make good on his list, or at least the things he _could_ make good on._ _ _ _

____The first thing Dean regretted was not taking Sam to the Grand Canyon. He had always wanted to go, but they never had gotten around to it. He also regretted not hugging Sam as much as he wanted to. Sure they were always touching each other- a reassuring pat here, a rub of the arm there. But, there weren’t enough hugs. Dean also regretted the way he looked at Sam before collapsing on the floor in that warehouse. He promised God and himself right there, that if he came out of this coma with his brains intact, he was going to tell Sam how he really felt. Sam deserved to know. Dean loved Sam more than pie, more than Baby, more than _life_. He had proven that, hadn’t he? Sam was his everything, and he’d be _damned_ to let anything come between the two of them. Dean vowed there and then that he would seize the day. _Carpe diem_ and all that rot. He felt the cotton candy-taffy pull of total unconsciousness. Dean succumbed to the sensation and allowed it to take him away. _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**~0~Once I was strong but I lost the fight. You won't find a better loser.~0~** _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Minutes, hours, days past. Dean did not know. One moment he was blissfully unaware and the next he felt a single finger touch between his eyes. A brilliant white light exploded around him as though he was on fire and being frozen at the same time. Every bone in his body flared a bright blue, his breaks finally mending. His lungs lost grip on the sticky, taffy feel. Dean realised he had movement in his limbs now and flexed his hand open and closed. the light settle down into a soft glow and Dean risked opening his eyes. He blinked the fuzziness of the world around him out of the way and gasped as ocean blue eyes stared back at him. He gagged as he tried to speak and was _shushed_ as a hand came up to brace his forehead. He sputtered and coughed as the intubation tube was slowly removed from his body. A steady hand brought a cool glass of water to his lips and beckoned him to drink. Dean took a few small sips of the cold liquid and coughed as the water slid down his raw throat._ _ _ _

____“Cas?” Dean sputtered through his sore throat._ _ _ _

____“Shh… Dean.” Castiel smiled. “It will be okay. You are bound to be sore. There was still a lot of damage left to heal.”_ _ _ _

____“Sam?” Dean croaked._ _ _ _

____“Samuel will be back momentarily. I had just sent him to eat. You and I need to talk.” Castiel sat in Sam’s unoccupied chair._ _ _ _

____“How long was I out, Cas?”_ _ _ _

____“Three months. You had four surgeries. One to remove your spleen, one to set your occipital bone and wire your jaw shut, one to place the shunt behind your ear.” Dean reached up to feel the tender flesh behind his left ear. “And one to remove all of the pins and screws they head your face together with. The Doctors told Sam they did not know if you would ‘make it’, so they say.” Castiel smiled softly at the Hunter._ _ _ _

____Dean nodded gingerly. He coughed again before Castiel placed the drinking glass to his lips again._ _ _ _

____“We found out who was killing the Angels.” Castiel whispered._ _ _ _

____“Really? Alastair finally gave up the information?” Dean looked at Castiel. He had hoped all his work wasn’t in vain._ _ _ _

____“No.” Dean’s face fell. “However, the one responsible gave himself away. He has been _disposed_ of.”_ _ _ _

____“Who was it, Cas?” Dean felt he wasn’t going to like the answer._ _ _ _

____“Uriel.” Castiel nodded._ _ _ _

____“Hey, Cas…” Dean started, hoping that Castiel would be grateful for the change in subject. “Is it true, what Alastair said?”_ _ _ _

____Dean blinked his eyes and rubbed his tender nose lightly. He twisted the blanket between his fingers and pursed his lips._ _ _ _

____“Is what true?” Castiel cocked his head in the familiar sign of not understanding something._ _ _ _

____“Alastair said that I was the First Seal. That I started the Apocalypse. Is it true?” Dean furrowed his brow and worried the blanket further. His eyes darted to the door and back to the Angel staring so forlornly at him._ _ _ _

____“You have to understand, Dean… Once we discovered Lilith’s plans, we laid siege to Hell. Three Garrisons of Angels perished attempting your rescue, Dean. By the time I reached you, there were only two of my Garrison able to fight. Myself and Hannah. She held off the mass of Demons attempting to harm you. I barely got you out of there alive. By then, it was too late. The Seal had been broken. _The Righteous Man who begins it, is the only one who can finish it. So it is written, so it shall pass_. That’s why I brought you back today, Dean. You need to end this. Only you.”_ _ _ _

____“I can’t, Cas. Find someone else. I’m not strong enough… I’m not _Righteous_ enough…” Dean choked back a sob._ _ _ _

____“You have to be, Dean. You are our only hope.”_ _ _ _

____Dean turned his head and cried out as Sam appeared in the doorway. He heard Cas disappear behind him, but didn’t care. He had his Sammy._ _ _ _

____“Sam.” Dean cried. “Sammy.”_ _ _ _

____Sam bolted from the doorway and snatched Dean’s hands. He kissed his palms and rubbed his cheeks on Dean’s hands._ _ _ _

____“I- I thought-” Sam smiled weakly and closed his eyes. “They told me I had lost you for real. They told me this morning that three months was too long. That I should prepare to pull the plug. But you- I’m-”_ _ _ _

____“Cas brought me back.” Dean smiled as tears streamed down his face. “Come’ere, Sammy.”_ _ _ _

____Sam leaned down and Dean breathed in his unique scent. Dean smelled Irish Spring and paper, dust and baby shampoo… and _Sam_._ _ _ _

____“De-” Sam cried and buried his face in Dean’s neck. Dean ran his fingers through Sam’s hair._ _ _ _

____“Love you, Sammy.” Dean whispered into Sam’s locks. “Love you…”_ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> **"Bell Bottom Blues"**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Chorus:]  
>  _Bell bottom blues, you made me cry._  
>  _I don't want to lose this feeling._  
>  _And if I could choose a place to die_  
>  _It would be in your arms._
> 
>  
> 
> _Do you want to see me crawl across the floor to you?_  
>  _Do you want to hear me beg you to take me back?_  
>  _I'd gladly do it because_  
>  _I don't want to fade away._  
>  _Give me one more day, please._  
>  _I don't want to fade away._  
>  _In your heart I want to stay._
> 
>  
> 
> _It's all wrong, but it's all right._  
>  _The way that you treat me baby._  
>  _Once I was strong but I lost the fight._  
>  _You won't find a better loser._
> 
>  
> 
> [Chorus 2x]
> 
>  
> 
> _Bell bottom blues, don't say goodbye._  
>  _I'm sure we're gonna meet again,_  
>  _And if we do, don't you be surprised_  
>  _If you find me with another lover._
> 
>  
> 
> [Chorus]
> 
>  
> 
> _I don't want to fade away._  
>  _Give me one more day please._  
>  _I don't want to fade away._  
>  _In your heart I long to stay._


End file.
